I am working on the continuation of the days we had with Sam, but then a few days ago I realized that last year, right about this time, I found out I was pregnant with Sam. So I found the entry in my journal and here it is...
Wednesday January 21, 2009
Today is a great day because I found out about you! Daddy and I knew that we wanted more to our family and we are thrilled to know you get to be a part of it.
I expect you to come around the middle of September.
Even though I am scared of all the things that could go wrong, I have faith that things will all be okay. I know that Jake and Allie will be great siblings to you. They have wanted a baby since last summer. When we talk about it, Allie says that you will be a girl, and Jake says you will be a boy named Jason. If you are a girl, he wants your name to be Jenny. Today he told me that we have a boy and a girl waiting to come down from Heaven.
I already love you and can hardly wait to see what you will look like and hold you in my arms.
Thanks for choosing our family. We will make you happy!
Love, Mom
I cried a little when I read that. It's interesting that even on the first day of knowing I was pregnant I was scared of the things that could go wrong. I know I am a worrier, but I also know that the Lord prepared me for Sam.
It's funny, the summer before I got pregnant I knew I still wasn't ready for another baby. I wanted more to the family, but I wasn't ready to leave the comfortable situation we were in with just Allie and Jake. But by that Fall the cravings came and I knew the time was right. I was really excited for a new baby. At the end of that letter I promised the as of yet unknown baby Sam that we will make him happy. I feel like we have done our best to do just that. The rest of my life I will work to continue to do that. It will make Sam happy when we do what is right and be disciples of Christ. We'll make you happy Sam!
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